I met Katherine in 1994. She was getting divorced, her daughter Ashley had just turned 5, and I was in the Army. She was 24, I was 27. There was an immediate connection between us and we quickly became best friends. Although we were strictly friends for the first three months before we started dating, I knew much sooner that she was the one for me. The problem was convincing her of that. She also felt the connection right away, but she resisted and kept things on the friendship level because she didn't want to get into anything too soon. But eventually she also knew we were meant to be together. The connection was one I'd never experienced before. There were nights that we would sit at the table talking about everyday things, and the conversation would go on literally all night long. We would sit there just talking and the conversation would simply flow by itself with no effort on our part. Often was the time when we would sit and chat after Ashley was in bed and we would still be sitting there talking when the sun started coming up the next morning. The chemistry just worked by itself. Of course, she also had a sense of humor. We had been dating a few weeks when she tried to see how far she could push me. We were having some dessert after dinner one night, and I was talking to her uncle about something (she lived with her aunt and uncle for a while until she could get set up in a new place). I was suddenly interrupted mid-sentence when something hit me in the head. I looked over and saw Katherine sitting there with a spoon in her hand and a guilty look on her face, trying to stifle a grin. She had flicked a blob of ice cream at me with her spoon. It smacked me in the side of the head and ran down over my ear and onto my shoulder. She started laughing, but then she knew what was coming. Both of us moving as one, she jumped out of her chair to take cover as I simultaneously grabbed a fistful of ice cream from my bowl and went after her. I chased her around the kitchen, into and back out of the living room, through the dining room again, and out onto the back deck. I got her cornered on the deck and I tried to smush the ice cream into her hair in revenge, but she kept blocking my arms. I managed to get her turned around, snaked my hand up under the back of her shirt, and flattened the big glob of ice cream against her back as she howled from the cold. With both of us laughing and being satisfactorily messy, I gave her a big kiss. The score was even, for now. We had to do a short separation not long into our relationship. A month after we started dating, I was getting ready to fly across the country for a month-long field training exercise. I had made a tape for her of songs that I liked. The night before I left, she was listening to it and one song in particular struck her. It was "Always With Me, Always With You" by Joe Satriani. She listened to it often when I was gone. She told me later that she missed me terribly (as I did her) and that song helped because it reminded her of me every time she heard it. It became 'our' song, and it reminds me of her every time I hear it. During that training exercise, we got ambushed one night and I was captured. I was taken to a simulated prison camp. The place was fenced in and guarded. Were to be released back to our units the next day, but we were prisoners for the night. This camp was not far from a group of barracks and I learned there were some pay phones there, about half a mile away. I decided to attempt an escape so I could call Katherine, and then get back into the camp unnoticed (this was before we had cell phones). We were told that any attempted escapes would result in punishment, but I wasn't about to let that stop me. A phone call would be difficult, because I had come down with a case of laryngitis a week before and I could barely talk. But, I missed her too much to not try. Out in the yard after dark, I squeezed through a hole in the fence and hid in the bushes until I was sure it was clear. I slid down the embankment, crawled through some more bushes and got out onto the road where I high-tailed it before anyone saw me. I got to the phones and called her. She was surprised to hear from me, since I told her before I left that I might not be able to use a phone the entire month that I would be gone. It was difficult to talk with my voice being gone, but I managed to squeak out that I loved her and missed her. Then I told her what I had done to make this phone call, and that I had to keep it short because I had to sneak back in before anyone saw me. She was shocked, but happy, that I took such a chance to call her. After we hung up, I made my way back to the spot in the fence, squeezed through after I was sure it was clear, and got back to the barracks with no one being the wiser. It was a risk, but she was worth it. It was while living in Kentucky that she graduated with an Associate's Degree from Elizabethtown Community College in 1993. She was also a member of the Phi Theta Kappa honor society. Two years later, in 1995, she graduated Summa Cum Laude with a Bachelor's Degree in Social Work from Spalding University. Spalding is a private university and rather expensive, but she chose it because they have one of the best social work programs in the country. When she graduated, she also received the M. Truehart Titzl award for outstanding graduating senior in social work, an award that is only given at Spalding University. Katherine was an achiever. She never settled for anything less than the best she could do, and she left behind a record of success to prove it. Katherine's love for social work came from her limitless compassion for others. We often hear about how someone is kind, caring, and compassionate, but these words aren't just adjectives in Katherine's case. Ask anyone who knew her and they'll tell you that they have never known anyone who embodied these words as much as she did. Her genuine love of helping others far surpassed anyone I've ever known. She had such depth of empathy that would often amaze me. It's why every friend she had felt like they were her best friend. Katherine's work included working with the poor, children's services, working with patients afflicted with a large range of ailments, including Alzheimer's, and finally being the executive director of an assisted living facility. One period of note was when she was social services director for a skilled nursing facility in Louisville. She introduced sensory therapy to the people there. Many days she would spend with patients who were comatose or nearly so, providing them with various sensory experiences to help them experience life and let them know that someone cared. She would provide the scent of a certain flower for a patient when she learned what that person's favorite flower was. Or she might read excerpts from a patient's favorite book. She often played music for them. And she would talk to them, telling them what was going on in the news, or what new projects the facility was working on. Anything that might provide a sensory experience beyond simply laying motionless in a bed. Despite these patients not being able to respond in some manner, Katherine believed many of them were still conscious and aware and probably lonely, and she wanted to let them know someone cared about the person inside, and to help them live through their senses, since they couldn't do it for themselves. I often wondered how many people wanted to thank her but couldn't. The most amazing part is that she wasn't required to do this as part of her job description. She introduced this program to her job because she loved doing it. Her compassion for others gave her all the motivation she needed to help in any way she could think of. In the summer of 1997, I had been out of the Army for nearly three years and we were looking to take our lives in a new direction, so we moved from Kentucky to California. I had family in California and we thought it would be a good place to see what we could do. We made an enjoyable experience out of the trip. Katherine drove her car and I drove the moving truck. I installed CB radios in both vehicles so we could talk. It made the trip a lot of fun as we conversed all the way across the country. It also ensured we could find each other if we got separated. She often scouted ahead to find a place to pull over for a break and let me know before I got there. A trip like that might normally be tiring, but we had a great time. Living in the San Francisco Bay area was quite a culture shock after living in small town Kentucky. But we soon got used to it and started enjoying the new life. The biggest thing for Katherine was the close proximity to the coast. The sea was her favorite place to be and she missed not being able to see it in Kentucky. We often made day trips to the coast, driving along the rocky coastline of Pacific Grove, spending the day at Cannery Row in Monterey, walking along Asilomar beach, having fun at the Santa Cruz boardwalk. She loved the sea and she always felt refreshed after a day at the beach. After a while, I decided it was the right time to pop the question. I always knew Katherine was the one for me; never had a single doubt in my mind. I just waited for the right time to ask her to marry me. We were both working, but struggling financially. The bay area is an expensive place to live. But I knew we could make it work. We had done some ring shopping, but she thought we would have to settle for a cheaper ring than the one she wanted because money was tight. She didn't know that I had been scrimping and saving until I could get her the ring she really wanted, and I had it in my pocket. The evening that I proposed to Katherine, she was tired and stressed out from lots of things going on at work. I convinced her to go for a walk with me. It was already dark. We walked down the street to a local park and walked the lighted pathway through the dark. She talked about things, and I listened and let her unwind. Then we sat down at a picnic table near a light pole. After a few minutes of talking, I held her hand and started doing some talking of my own. Then she realized I was getting serious about certain things, and she just listened while I talked. I was telling her how much she meant to me and I wanted her in my life forever. Then I stood up, walked around to her side of the table, took the ring out of my pocket, got down on one knee, presented the ring to her and asked her to marry me. She was almost speechless, but very happy, and she said yes. Then the automatic sprinklers came on. Making a run for it was the first thing we did as an engaged couple. Being almost broke, we decided to have a small informal wedding that would only cost the gas to drive there. A second nicer wedding was planned for a couple of months later, most of which was donated by friends at the church. Our first wedding was on a small cliff over the sea at Moss Beach. No gown or tuxedo, just us, Ashley, my parents (my mom is a minister and she married us), my brother, and a friend of the family. It was October 12 and a beautiful sunny day, but a strong wind was blowing in off the sea. Katherine was shivering most of the time. We chose a spot on a trail along the cliff. There were other people there enjoying their walks, so we had to wait until the spot we wanted was clear of other people. After a few minutes there were no other people around, so we took our places and had our little wedding ceremony. Afterwards we celebrated with sparkling cider in plastic cups, and then we signed the legal documents my mom had brought along to make everything official. It was small, cheap, and sort of make-it-up-as-you-go, but the location had a natural splendor and I was marrying the woman I loved, so I wouldn't have had it any other way. After being together for 3 1/2 years, we were married. There was no honeymoon. We both had to be at work the next day, so that was that. The second wedding was more formal. It was at the church. Katherine wore a traditional gown we got for a very good price because it needed a small repair, and I wore a tux. It was December 13, so we went with a Victorian Christmas theme. Most of the decorations and food and everything were donated by church members. They made it possible for us to have a really nice wedding. The ceremony was beautiful and my bride was beaming. Still being on a tight schedule, the honeymoon consisted of just one night at a bed and breakfast on the coast. Once again, back to work the next day. Before long, our first son Eric was born, and then our second son Andrew. Although Katherine was busy with long hours at work, she was still a great mom. She taught the kids to be kind and considerate, tolerant of other peoples' differences, and to have compassion for others. Going places and playing with the kids was a top priority for her. We did that as much as possible. Eventually she took a break from social work when a job opportunity presented itself through a friend of hers. We moved into an apartment complex and she became the manager of it. She had no previous experience, but she learned quickly and became very good at it. The place needed a lot of work when we moved in, but she really brought the standards up. After a while, that job fell through when ownership of the place changed hands. But her boss at the management company liked her so much that he offered her a similar job at a nicer apartment complex in another town. So we moved again and she took over the new place. After a couple of years, she was promoted to a middle management position within the company. A new person was found to manage the site we lived at while Katherine began working at the main office in Oakland, overseeing several sites in the bay area. She moved up quickly because she was so good at whatever she did. There really was no stopping her. Eventually, Katherine wanted to move back to her home state of Washington because she wanted to be near her sisters. She had moved to California for me, so it was my turn to return the favor. So in the summer of 2004, we were on the road again on another adventure. Now living in the Puget Sound area, she started job hunting. She wanted to get back into social work again. Not only was she hired by an assisted living corporation, but they made her executive director of the facility. That place had a lot of problems when she took it over, but she tackled it head-on and made many changes that turned the place around. She found it a unique opportunity to mix her management experience with her love of providing social services to those in her care. Under her direction, it became a shining example of success for the corporation. Soon she was flying to Virginia to attend seminars and meet people high up in the organization. But after two years there, we decided that our family life wasn't what we wanted it to be. I had seriously injured my back in 2005 and I was out of work because of it. Katherine was working many long hours, and with a long commute, our family time wasn't much. It was time for a change. We decided to move to Oregon. My family had all moved there from California, so we would have family nearby. We didn't have a concrete plan laid out, but that never stopped us before. After years of living in big cities, we simply wanted to move to a place with a slower pace of life so we could try to relax a bit and have more family time. As it turned out, not only did we not get the family time we wanted, but I lost Katherine altogether. I moved to Oregon with the kids in the late summer of 2006. The plan was for Katherine to remain at her job for a while to finish up some things she was working on and save some money before moving to Oregon with us, and she would drive down for a weekend visit every few weeks, moving down permanently before Christmas. I didn't like that plan because I wanted us to stay together, but Katherine thought it was a good idea, so I agreed to it. It was very hard on her to be away from myself and the kids for long periods, but she made the sacrifice to help put our family in a better position. A few weeks after the move, she drove down for her first weekend visit. I knew she would want to see the coast, so I took her to the beach that weekend and we had fun playing with the kids. When the weekend was over, she drove back to Washington to get back to work. I didn't know at the time that I would never see her alive again. Five days later, I received word that there was an accident and she had passed away early that morning. It was just a few weeks before our 9th anniversary, and two days before the kids were supposed to start the school year at their new school. She was 36 years old. I took the kids to Washington to attend a memorial service. There were many people there. Friends of hers I hadn't seen in years had flown in from California. The company she worked for brought in an entire replacement team for the day so the whole staff who worked with her could attend the memorial service. Some people higher up in the organization came from Virginia. The number of people she touched was amazing. Two weeks later, there was a second memorial service for family and friends in Oregon. It was even harder the second time around, but it was nice to know that friends from the church attended who never even met Katherine, just to show their support for our family. Katherine made it clear to me years earlier that she wanted a cremation and her ashes poured into the sea, so I carried out her wishes. After the second memorial service, we drove to the coast. We gathered around on the beach, in the same spot where we played when she came down for her visit a few weeks before, and my mom said a prayer for her. Then I walked out into the water a bit and poured her ashes into the ocean, followed by some rose petals. As I watched, I noticed that the ashes made a cloud in the water that didn't disperse, but slowly moved out to sea and then disappeared. I said farewell for the last time. One year later, our tenth anniversary was coming up. When we got married, Katherine and I had talked about future anniversary plans. She told me that she wanted a diamond tennis bracelet for our tenth anniversary, and I promised her I would get her one. When our tenth anniversary came along a year after she passed away, I shopped around and found one that I thought she would like, and I bought it for her. I kept my promise.